Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Life is too short


(I started this post back in February.. I never got the chance to complete it then.. Mostly because I felt it was just a bit of rambling that concerns no-one.. I still think it is no more than that... and I am not quite sure why I am publishing it!...

Nevertheless, I am grateful to Abu Fares for prompting me, with his post, to finish it.. This is an updated version of the original post, as some of the original contents would have been irrelevant now..)


In February, my wife went to Damascus for a short visit.. Ever since we came to the UK, my wife has spent the Summer holidays in Damascus.. Every year, without fail, she would 'abandon' me for two months.. She often says that it is written in her marriage contract that she is entitled to two months a year, away from me.. and some of our English friends actually believed her!!.. In recent years, as the children are now at University, she has been going to Damascus twice a year.. She still goes in the summer, albeit for a shorter period, but now she also goes in February for three weeks or so... so she still gets her 'contractual' two-month break!..

Anyway, let's not digress too much...

We have been living in the UK for twenty-two years.. You would have thought that after twenty-two years of this ritual, I would have got used to her periodic absence.. The fact of the matter is.. I miss her now more than I used to miss her ten.. fifteen.. or twenty years ago..

I find it quite intriguing that, even after all those years, I still yearn for her company as much as I did twenty-six years ago.. (well.. more like 'thirty years ago' if you count the years of 'underground secret struggle'!.)..

It is often said that we never appreciate what we have until we lose it, but I do not subscribe to that notion.. I would like to think that I always show my wife how much I appreciate her (although, I am sure, there are time when she would disagree!..).. Then again, I guess I am one of those lucky people.. I married my childhood sweetheart, and she was, and still is, everything I ever dreamed of or wished for in a woman.. a wife, a friend and a companion, an advisor and a confidante.. and a lover...

I am a lousy sleeper at the best of times.. most of my posts, for example, are done at the early hours of the morning.. When she is away, I sleep even less.. I toss and turn in bed, waking up several times during the night, sensing her absence and longing for her presence..

During the day, I find myself ringing home from work.. in the full knowledge that there is no-one to answer.. I just feel that I need to reach out for her..

So, I admit it.. quite unashamedly.. I did miss my lovely wife when she was away, even though I have been very busy at work.. even though she was only away for three weeks.. (ONLY three weeks?.. Why, then, did it feel like three years??..)

But why do I miss her now more than ever?.. Simple, really.. the more time we spend together, the more reliant on each other we become.. She is my soul-mate, not just my wife..

A wise old man once told me that life is too damn short.. the clever ones amongst us make the most of the times we can spend with the people we care about most.. Take it from this not-so-wise, and not-so-old man: life is too damn short.. spend it accumulating beautiful memories.. don't waste it with useless arguments.. fill it with love and happiness, not with anger and frustration..

(Picture: 'Endless Love' by Alfred Gockel)

12 comments:

Ihsan said...

Warm post...Allah ykhaleekon la ba3d...

I agree with the advice of that wise old man told you and what you the not-so-wise added to it...however, some of us are less fortunate than others.. for they are reaching their thirties and yet to find their companions..if ever... alas...

Restless in Dubai said...

I never knew that Dad and Mom were so much in love until she became a victim of Cancer, I never saw dad crying, only once, crying over Mom, Now mom has been always for almost 4 weeks, she'll be back on Thursday, I can't describe quite enough how badly he misses her, we all do, but unlike him, he misses her like crazy, calls her twice a day, mentioning her every couple of mins, I do not know why men from the orient don't show their love to their wives until it is too late, I am glad that you and dad are not of those..

Enjoyed the read.

RnD

abufares said...

What a warm and thoughtful piece of writing this is, Syrian Brit. I am glad that I had anything to do with prompting you to complete it.
Fairy tales are best when they come true. Your sweetheart and you are so fortunate (remember to count your blessings).
Thank you for inspiring those who did not get hitched yet, those who are still standing in line.
Thank you for reminding me, among others, what we should never forget.

I love Munich said...

SOOO beautiful and warm - so touching! This post says a lot about you ... about your soul. GREAT GREAT post - the most beautiful gift a man can give to his wife!

You MAY want to check my blog ... there's something for you!

Rime said...

Beautiful, warm and honest. You know, you give Syrian men a good name! I hope this love story goes on forever.

On the lighter side, I must say that the two-month (more or less) clause is absolutely essential for the sanity of any couple. As I saw on a t-shirt recently, "How can I miss you if you never go away?" :)

Anonymous said...

محمد مأمون الحمصي


Dear brothers Syrians living outside of your beloved homeland Chrjtm of the homeland to escape oppression and terror, injustice and oppression of the Loya Chrjtm order for the summit to live after the ruling that robbed the nation and its wealth of Tatasseron you sad and painful for our homeland and the solution of the status of the people starve, intimidation and despotism, shed for the dignity and wealth in broad daylight in a Pharaonic exceeded all imagine Dear brothers, dear brothers in the nation for their support and invite you to meet their lawful status experienced by the ruling regime has started in a physical liquidation of the heat liberty those heroes who have cherished and not cheap Nkaz homeland, in a peaceful way that is the duty of us all to be our position the equivalent of the great sacrifices and steadfastness It is regrettable that the style of denunciation and condemnation is no longer useful for the system has become accustomed to this type of expression does not care what is said and that is all that is the coordinates international claim that a violation of human rights and respect international charters and conventions all the aggressive and seize it, considering This behavior stems from its strength and arrogance and that no one has the right to interfere in the affairs of the nation, which considers (farm) amid the absence of the international community from the account and that painful reality, we call on you parties, organizations and individuals to adopt more useful and the most important resort to the judiciary in Europe and filing lawsuits against anyone who commits crimes against humanity or violation of human Wonsan only note that human rights organizations and associations at home to have knowledge in all those committed against the Syrian citizens and spares no effort to support the victims of the regime and their families, and many of them made many sacrifices are a source of pride for the Syrian people and their attitudes to our nostalgia consciousness national precious sons and that it faces today, the brothers hurt in Adra prison is sophisticated death by the prison director, who was selected for this site, and this goal after the head of the security sub-time and one full of history and the crimes of corruption and he has a special relationship with the system and I am sure that the work programmers for the liquidation of Dr. Kamal Labwani and lawyer Anwar Bunni and Professor Michel Kilo, and Nizar Rstenawi Dr. Aref Dalilah, Habib Saleh, this case applies to the rest of prisons spread all over the country I make this appeal and I hope that we squeeze determined to seek the support and the support of our Arab brothers and to free the world of the new phase work and new methods in a peaceful and within the laws of the countries in which you may live and work will be an important and integral part of what they are doing at home Sawa brothers were in prison or jail younger largest in which they live and know that their torturers come soon, God lived in Syria lived a great people

The Syrian Brit said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Syrian Brit said...

Anonymous,
(محمد مأمون الحمصي)

All I can say is: 'Huh??...'

Fares said...

SB, I was impressed by your love story and I read it when you published, I tried to post a nice comment but something went wrong. Any way You guys are lucky and I hope that you keep having each other and a great family.

On another note, tragedies keep hapenning and this is the latest, you can delete if you don't see it fitting here, thanks
Help Iraqi Christians

The Syrian Brit said...

Thank you all for your kind words and wishes..
Fares, you are always most welcome to comment and post links on my blog.. even if we disagree on some minor issues, I still hold you in high repsect, and admire your zeal and commitment..

fatima said...

Hi Syrian brit . I can understand why your wife goes so often to Syria , i do the same but i go to Algeria when i meet family , friends, neighbours , chatting , warm atmosphere you do not get in the west . Im glad she has an understanding husband may god keep you both happy for each other

Abu Kareem said...

SB,

Lovely post, my friend, and understand you feelings fully.